is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
