I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
