Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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