after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
