Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
