Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I wish you could order shots online.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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