So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
