i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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