smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
