As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
