mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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