I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
