I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you would pick up someone in the library
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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