Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
