I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
