planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize