I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
