When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize