We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
