I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
porn star boner night. come get it.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
