There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
