I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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