so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
