I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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