did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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