Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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