Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
