I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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