i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Be still, my beating vagina.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
