I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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