this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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