Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize