absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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