What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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