FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
