people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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