Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
