my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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