it hurts more in the daytime
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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