Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
