It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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