Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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