She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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