I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
