I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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