Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
