I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
