Do you still have your period?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
