Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
