I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
