and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
