forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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