Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
fuck your aforementioned shoe
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
