Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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