How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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