So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
she smelled like a LAN party
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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