There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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