capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
