My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
