i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
