you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
