I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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