I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
